Not Worth It

I told my guy that we have some drama to deal with.  I feel like he's lied to me, that I'm not worth his time, and that I'm feeling unimportant.  If you've been reading this blog for over the last year or two you will know that my guy is married and I'm the other woman.  He's told me repeatedly that they're pretty much just roommates, who are contractually bound.  No sex, no affection, barely do things together.

The biggest response I got from my guy was that he's super busy all the time.  Now, I know that he just opened up his own business and just went to Europe for a competition.  He takes care of all the household things since his wife can't seem to clean, cook, or do much of anything.  He trains like crazy - taekwondo.

Its not that he's super busy.  I know that he is and I accepted that a while ago.  I get put on the back burner all the time in the last few months.  That's what I mean by not being worth his time.

As for the lying, I've had to hear - for the last two years - how unsupportive and unloving his wife is.  If this is true, then why does he post shit on facebook that says the opposite?  The simple answer is usually the truth (as they say) - so he's probably just lying to me.

We've had a lot of talk about marriage and divorce.  He's afraid to get one for three reasons: she'll try to take his business, his dog, and he doesn't want to be blamed if she tries to kill herself.

I tried breaking up with him, but he keeps leaving comments on facebook....and they're all nice.

Fuck.  I feel like a bitch.

The worst part is that I'm in love with the jerk (though he probably doesn't love me - who knows).  I'm just mad at him.

He's supposed to come up here (yeah, he lives in a different state) in 11 days.  I think he left an afternoon open to do things with me.  *eye roll* Great.  I would have scheduled in a few extra days.  I just don't know if I'm worth it.

Comments